(G1) OMG, my mom totally grounded me. (G2) I know girlfriend, listen to this, my mom didn’t get me an IPhone 10 for this birthday. She only got me an IPhone 9.9. (G1) True, seriously, my mom is so crazy. (G2) True, I mean (S) Shut the F up. You girls are acting like a couple truches. Now quit hogging the post. Where was I? Seriously, if you came across this post through a search engine. Then you crazy! I mean what are you expecting. If your search query was a public speaking topic, I would fail you. Now excuse me while I get the idiot writer. Wait, I am the writer. Noooooooooo-beeeeeeeeeeep. Anyways, today I’m going to tell you why my mom is crazy.
My Mom is Crazy |Queen, Queen|
1. She’s a Queen Baby, Not a Commoner
I mean who does she think she is, the princess who is trying to be paper, I mean pauper. I mean, she a queen and she dare touch thread. My mom sews all the time. Not only that, she even cooks for us. Us, the filthy poor commoners. I mean being in a presence is already a gift to us. Not to mention that she married a commoner like my dad. My mom could be living in a castle, with a pony.
Most importantly, I could have lived in a castle, with a unicorn. Plus, she even also herself to be slave-drived. She gets bossed around, she cleans the housed (Audience: How dare they!), and she even pays for our needs. She’s not your ordinary queen because she made herself to be a wealthy princess. You know why I say both princess and queen. It’s because she’s blessed with eternal beauty. If only mine own fair lady was blessed with eternal health.
2. She’s Agapi Sapien
My mom loves anyone. She gives everyone a chance. She loves animals, she loves her murders, she even loves me. If you read my previous on what love is all about. You’ll know that agape love means general love, not romantic. Here’s her completely true, not fabricated story. My mom, princess Jaiselina of the Jaiselin court was swiftly strolling in the crystal gem garden. Then, she plumply heard a sound. She heard someone brashly getting closer. Then a robber (Aka. my father) unwillingly proposed to my mother. Surprisingly yet ferocious, she denied him. But, she didn’t report him to the imperial court. See, she showed love. Then my father kidnapped her in a burlap sack and they were happily married. The end.
3. Selfless Lipstick, It Feeds You
Okay, if selfless and my grandpa gave birth to a child, it would be Jessica, my mom. She’d rather feed me than herself. That itself is already enough to give me your money. Hand it, I said hand it! Hugh, I love exclamation marks. Back to mom. My mom is crazy because she’s so selfless. I can’t remember the last time she bought something expensive for. I have terrible memory. Hello, a princess must act like a princess. She even wears informal nightwear when going to sleep. If she has money, she would rather spend it on us, then herself. This goes vice-versa for my dad and I mean completely. He would rather like us to spend our money on him than ourselves.
My mom is a very emotional being. I don’t know whether this is a good thing or a bad thing. I get a paper cut from obviously from …….. steel and she acts like I was decapitated. Someone broke a vase and suddenly there’s a funeral. I literally return home after 5 minutes and she acts like I returned for war. I mean I don’t even know who ‘I’ is. If her normal state is this emotional, then imagine her emotional state. A sad scene comes on TV, suddenly my house is Atlantis. Water everywhere. I’m just kidding, my mom is actually two times more emotional than what I say. So the whole town becomes the pacific ocean.
5. She’s Too Amazing
Yes, my mom is crazy because she’s too amazing. In which Disney princess movie does a princess have a child, excluding Ariel. Of course nobody. They’re all afraid that they won’t be the center of attention. And your thinking “how does this make sense”. Well, I’ll tell you. In little mermaid 2, ariel daughter, Pacifica was it? was the main attention. In my mom sequel, she was still the star. Even with children, she’s too amazing that they made her the star. Makes perfect cents.
For all the people out there saying that ‘My Mom is Crazy” or “She should just die, then maybe you should go F yourself. Your momma don’t like you, but she still loves you. She deserves better, but she still raises you. Okay enough with the song, I am getting bored, I said enough, Ieee said enough. Okay for real. I had my moments when I also hated my mother. However, she stood by me through all tough times, and she shouldered my weight.
For those saying “I wish I wasn’t born”. Take a minute. I’ve experienced many emotions, both wonderful and painful, but that’s what makes us humans. If I wasn’t born, I would have regretted not knowing these feel. Of course I wouldn’t know what regret would have been. Anyways, my mom is crazy. You know why, it’s because she loves me. Thank you for reading this post. Subscribe for more weird and funny posts. Share it because you know, I’m hungry. Feed me. Anyways, I hope that you’ll have a great day. Byeeeeeeeeeee!!!!